My Future: Inspiration...

(play the track while reading the post)

“Sometimes it feels like I'll never go pass here
Sometimes it feels like I'm stuck forever and ever

But, I'm going higher
Closer to my dreams
I'm goin' higher and higher”

Life...

When I take the time to lay back and think my mind often wanders. Now that I am 20 leaning towards 21 and maturing into an adult, an occurring topic of late has been the question of my future.

What is it that I truly want for my future?

Where do I want to be in 5 years?

Should I continue to play it safe by going down the standard path; completing University and then hope to attain an entry level position within the field I studied?

Will I be content with working a 9 to 5 making a salary which is only satisfactory, knowing opportunity for progression isn’t great?

Am I going to be comfortable working in a position which I will lack passion for, solely used as a source of revenue?

Or do I want more for myself?

On Wednesday, May, 13th 2009 I was struck with inspiration and answered a few of those questions...


It was Drake’s “So Far Gone” mixtape tour concert and there I was standing in the center of a packed crowd accompanied by a few of my closest friends with a blunt in hand eagerly awaiting Drake’s arrival to the stage. Just before boredom set in the stage lights brightened, and boom, the beat for his track “Congratulations” dropped. As Drake walked out on stage with a grin from ear to ear, began performing his opening track turning the crowd into a mania, we lit up the blunt and set the mood for the night. While the concert preceded the blend of being “high” from recently smoking and watching one of my favourite artist perform my favourite songs completely focused me. Actually it drifted me away; away from his turbulent fans, away from my friends, away into my own realm. I stood there with full respect watching this young man that choose not to follow the standard path, who refused to play it safe; watching this young man that aimed for more instead of the ordinary, who followed his passion instead of just satisfaction. The thought alone changed me; lit a wick that was buried deep inside of me. The whole event inspired me; I witnessed and recognized a real success story which was composed in my own home city. It hit me.

That night when I got home I hopped in my bed slapped on “Closer” by Goapele, the therapeutic melody and her temperate vocals let me clear my thoughts as my mind swiftly wander off... I asked myself again:

What is it that I truly want for my future?

This time when I thought about it there was a fire dwelling in my hollows. There was a self-belief burning inside me, telling me to follow my passion to reach for my dreams. It was right there and then I decided that I wanted more for myself than just a job than a just a career. Seeing one of my cities own master his passion and then reach to his dreams has honestly inspired me.
What I now want for myself is to follow not a set path but to create my own path, to create my own destiny, to create my own role in this complex world. I will follow my passion and my dreams, my passion for success, my dream to write, and my will to always enjoy life. Yes I’ll complete University and receive a good education but not so I can attain that ordinary job but to equip myself with the tools I will need to design my own unique future. I strongly believe in my abilities and talents; that with dedication, passion, and plenty of practice I will develop my own unique skill that will lead me towards my path to success.

“Sometimes it feels like I'll never go pass here
Sometimes it feels like I'm stuck forever and ever

But, I'm going higher
Closer to my dreams
I'm goin' higher and higher”

Bonus video:

Drake feat Adreena Mills - Closer to my Dreams

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E.J.C.H

As a parent raising a child definitely has it share of rough and frustrating moments; for example having to stay up late because your baby isn`t ready to sleep, or having to change a diaper packed with a smell so pungent that all you can do is focus on not trying to throw up your morning breakfast, or even trying to teach your child something basic that they just don`t seem to understand but there are shining moments in parenthood which make all the rough times completely worth it.

Yesterday my son`s mother and I experienced a defining moment in our parenthood that I would like to share with all of you.

My son is currently 3 at the moment but will be turning 4 at the end of August, which means that he will be beginning his run at school this coming September. Yesterday was our chance to meet some of our son`s future educators at my son`s future school. It was a parent teacher meeting for all the upcoming children that will be starting school this coming term. At 6 30 pm all the parents and their children met up in one of the classrooms located in the school, we then met one of the teachers and the vice principal. They explained a few typical subjects then told us to go take our children to four different learning centres (magnetic numbers and letters centre, writing centre, reading centre, play dough centre)which they setup in four different classrooms throughout the school. Each centre was assigned with a teacher that explained activities that we parents should do with our children to help prepare them for the coming September.

In each centre my son along with all the other children had to do a few activities which basically was a test of each child’s knowledge and skill in subjects like numbers, writing, basic patterning, and hand control. As we stood and watched our son and all the other children do each activity a feeling of true happiness and pride surged through my body as I realized that my son was equipped with a large knowledge and skill in almost every subject. except when it came to using the scissors, he did struggle a bit but I was still proud to see him really focus hard on trying to learn how to cut the shape out correctly.

As a parent and individual it’s these moments in life which give me confirmation that I am heading down the right path. Of course I personally steer onto the wrong path a every so often but its moments like this that help refocus and center me in the right direction.

There have honestly been very few moments in my life that have made me feel as proud as I did yesterday and much of that is due to having a patient, focused, and responsible person to share in raising my son. I thank God everyday that I was blessed to share my parenthood with someone as wonderful as my son`s mother...

You are honestly the definition of a great parent and a real inspiration for all young mothers.

Ps. Please wish us luck, we have a long journey a head of us as we start a new chapter in parenting this coming September...

I just had to add this song/video to the post:

Lauryn Hill feat Carlos Santana - Zion

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Deep Thought: Living and Learning

Growing up in Scarborough a young male of Caribbean descent was not an easy task to say the least. I was blessed enough to live in a regular sized house, with both of my parents, and with a decent financial support system. What made growing up so difficult was my own bad decision making. Going through elementary school I was never truly interested in anything else other than sports. Due to an honest belief to make it to the NBA and a firm passion of the sport I had all the drive one needed to excel and develop within the sport. It was high school that changed everything; I went to a Scarborough Catholic high school that was populated by 60 percent blacks, 30 percent Asians and 10 percent whites. In my first year I was less focused on sports and more on the female physic. I quickly realized that if I wanted to be noticed by the all the females I would have to align myself with the right people (the popular kids), which in turn meant I had to gain their respect. I worked hard at it; I listened to the latest hip hop, acquired all the dopest clothes, and never followed the rules. I did everything and anything it took to be respected by my peers. It ultimately worked; in my second year I was an established male in my school. I was a part of a popular clique, played a leading rule on my school basketball team and dated the females that were on top of every males “I’d hit it list”. This process to the top came with plenty of trouble. I found myself smoking weed at an early age, getting into many violent disputes which usually left me in dangerous situations, robbing and stealing the clothes that my parents couldn’t afford to buy me, and my marks were atrocious I became satisfied with just passing each class instead of actually excelling in it but I was socially “cool” which was all that actually mattered to me at the time...

After attaining my number 1 goal which was to be popular I created new goals; lose my virginity and make money by all means. Once basketball season was complete (finished junior boys champs, with an undefeated season) I focused on searching for my 1st sexual relationship. My search didn’t take long I started a relationship with a girl one year younger than myself and shortly after a couple months and a few failed attempts I was “gettin’ it in”, literally. I dated this girl through the end of my second year and into my third, during this time I said farewell to basketball and hello to money. I started to sell weed and sold stolen clothes or bicycles, this obviously got me in more trouble since things don’t always go as planned. At the end of December 2004 I was slapped with some life changing news as I learned that my girlfriend of 7 months was pregnant with my first son. It hit me harder than I could imagine, having no true potential in anything at the time since my marks were horrible and my life was in shambles.

It wasn’t till my son’s actual birth (August 28^th 2005) I slowly began to realize that I had to change my ways. Returning for my last year of high school as a brand new father wasn’t the greatest situation in the world but it was exactly what I needed. It forced me to mature. I had to learn how to take care of someone else other than myself which wasn’t one of my strengths. I remember going to my guidance counselor in the first month of school, he asked me what I wanted to do after high school? I responded “go to university I guess” he laughed in my face and replied with a smirk, “Harbans, let’s be realistic”. I knew it wasn’t the most rational answer due to my educational history but when he laughed at me in my face I felt disrespected. It got me so enraged that knocking him out cold and then watching him snore like a child was my initial response. Then I thought for a second maybe working hard and proving him wrong would be much more satisfying in the long. So that’s exactly what I did, I created a new goal...University. I grinded out getting used to doing homework and studying hard, while learning how to change diapers and making baby formula. Just like my other goals I attained this one as well and by the end of the year I was accepted to all the Universities I applied for.

I currently have a new goal in life and that's to achieve true success and whenever I feel like I can't do it I just think back to the past. In true honesty I have lived a life that would be considered sweet compared to many other people, it was my own bad decisions that were my downfalls but I learned from those downfalls and let them fuel me to better myself. I have a lot of hard work ahead if I want to be a better person and a better father but at the end of the day learning and growing from my mistakes is where I believe true success lies.

Photo snapped and edited by Made in the City's very own:
Cristhian Ramirez

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"Enjoy Every Sandwich..."

Self-admittedly, I am aware that I often ignore some of the minor things in life, throughout the course of attempting to achieve my goals. Although this results-driven approach has served me well in terms of attaining some of those targets, I am conscious of the fact it has caused some of the other aspects of my life to lag. 

Last night I came across a quote by rock singer-songwriter Warren Zevon. In the final stages of his battle with terminal lung cancer when asked if there was anything about life that his imminent death had allowed him to gain a better understand about, he replied, "... just how much you're supposed to enjoy every sandwich." 

Hearing his response did not induce an immediate epiphany followed by a sudden change in attitude. Rather, it allowed me to better realize that ambition in many cases is not without consequence. In my view, if an individual understands and accepts these consequences then any lamenting about the lost opportunities down the line should fall on deaf ears. That being said, the subjectiveness of the quote leads to a number of different interpretations. Whether it caused you to think like I did, or think nothing at all, just thought I'd share.

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